ASHBY STARR’S 100 BABY CHALLENGE
LIFE’S UPS AND DOWNS
***My story contains some adult situations and implications of sex. So if you are 16 years or younger please make sure your parent knows you are reading… I would be a bit bummed if I got some nasty hate mail from a parent***
I know it has been a while since my last post and I did leave you abruptly when I had a visitor knocking on my door so very late at night.
Since my visitor arrived the Starr family has been turned upside down. We have had many good times and some very bad times. I have to let you know before I continue that my heart is very heavy in sadness. I will do my best to let you all know what has been happening without missing a detail, but it is hard for me to continue to relive my pain.
So let’s first start with showing off my new look:
I figured with the holidays around the corner having the family add green and red to their wardrobe would be fun. I really have to get use to this “mom” look and my new shorter hair.
So I am sure you are wondering who showed up at my door at such a late hour. Well, gosh it is so hard for me even to write his name and to think about him is just that much harder, the person at my door that night was Connery Bright.
“Who?” You may be asking yourself and how I am going to reply is probably pretty puzzling as well.
Connery Bright is the love of my life. I know some of you are wide eyed right now and my sisters-in-arms such as, Violet Newbie, Christy Quinn, The Wriner gal’s and the other challenge mother’s who have been doing their best to provide me strength during this time are sitting in their chairs shaking their heads sadly.
I am not sure how many of you remember in my last post how I expressed that my heart wasn’t in my challenge anymore. I said I didn’t know what the cause of that was, but deep in my heart I really did know the answer to that and when Connery showed up on my door step professing his love my heart rejoiced because I finally knew it was okay to follow it for once.
Connery and I met in Sun Set Valley, TX while I was there visiting for Violet Newbie’s birthday.
(You can read her blog here: http://asimsstory2010.blogspot.com/2010/09/getting-started-101-babies-challenge.html )
Yes that weekend I ended up conceiving my son Derrick with Asher, Connery’s roommate, but for some reason Connery and I really hit it off and before I left we exchanged phone numbers and email address. Ever since that weekend we have been keeping in touch and he has been one of my rocks in this challenge. He as well as Asher and of course Derrick has kept me in the loop of Derrick’s life. He truly has been a Godsend.
Seeing him for the first time in years, well outside of pictures sent through the computer, my heart melted. He is a bit older than me, but looking into his kind eyes our age difference melts away. It only took him blurting out that he loved me for me to pull him through the doorway and embrace him. I began crying and muttering that I loved him too and I had always loved him.
He lifted me off the ground and carried me up the stairs, luckily he found my bedroom and not one of the kids room. Now I am well versed in the affairs of the bedroom, what challenge mom isn’t, but that night was nothing like I had ever experienced and my womanhood was rocked to the core.
Afterwards we just spent time cuddling and talking about everything. I was amazed that my three needy Grinch triplets slept all night for me. It was the first time they did it and the last. I told Connery that I was not going to take no for an answer and that he was going to move in with me. He didn’t really reply to that but he didn’t argue either. I felt so content lying in his arms drinking in his manliness.
It was the first time, well except for my weekend with Asher that I was lying with a man because he just wanted to be with me and not to partake in my challenge. It was beautiful and I felt I could live the rest of my life like this. Not once did my challenge enter my mind. Is that selfish? I don’t really know but I do know that I was happy and a happy mom brings happy children, right?
The next day we hired a babysitter for the Grinch Triplets and after Levi, Ash and Elvira left for school we headed off for a picnic. The day was gorgeous and the fragrance of nature was twice as powerful to me. I have heard that things like that happen when you are in love.
Our day was lovely but as it began to wind down he dropped the biggest bomb on me. It was more like a nuclear warhead. What he told me crushed me.
“Ashby, I need to tell you something.” – Connery
I turned to him and took his hand, “What is it?” I smiled at him sweetly.
He removed his hand and looked down at the picnic blanket we were sitting on. “I am afraid to tell you. I believe it will make you retract your request for me to move in with you and I want to be with you more than anything, but you need to know everything.”
His tone was sullen and I got really scared. Like the Meatloaf song, what if he was going to tell me that he wants me and needs me but he could never really love me. I know these thoughts were a contradiction of the events from the night before, but I couldn’t help thinking them.
He picked up a blade of grass and moved it around with his fingers. He wouldn’t look at me and it took him a long time before he spoke again.
“Babe, I am not healthy.”
I giggled not understanding the severity of what he was saying. He, even for someone his age, was built and very well in shape. “Well if you don’t think you are in shape like you want to be, I would be willing to work out with you.”
“No Ashby, you don’t understand. I am sick. I have been diagnosed with cancer and the doctors say that we caught it too late and there isn’t anything for them to do.” He threw the grass down.
I didn’t know what to say. I just gave him this blank look. After what seemed like an eternity I took his chin into my hand and turned his face to meet mine. “Are you kidding me?”
I know it seems like a lame response to something so serious, but I think I was in shock.
He removed my hand from his face and began to rub the back of it. “Honey, I would never kid you about something like this.”
“It’s not fair. We just finally followed our hearts to be with each other.” My voice cracked with every word and tears threatened to show themselves.
“I know, but being with you for one day would be worth it. I hope you feel the same way.”
I didn’t know what to say so I excused myself. I had to think. I had to completely understand what was going on.
Once I knew I was out of his range of sight and hearing I allowed myself to break down. I cried and screamed and cursed my maker for allowing this to happen. I wanted to hit something. I wanted to… I wanted to… I didn’t know what I wanted to do other then cry.
Then his words rang in my head, “Being with you just one day is worth it. I hope you feel the same.”
I wiped my eyes and realized that I did feel the same way. Since Harmony disappeared I had been living my life for her dream, the challenge, and her followers, but being with Connery would be my dream and if it was for only one day then so be it. I headed back to him.
He was still sitting on the blanket and the expression on his face was that of fear. Was it fear if dying or loosing me? I wasn’t sure, but there was no need for the latter.
I leaned down and kissed him on the forehead. “You are worth one day or a million days. I love you Connery Bright.”
The expression on his face after I said that was the best sight I have ever seen in my young life. I knew my life with him was going to be amazing.
Then we walked down by the beach until the sunset.
The next day Connery and I got into our first “fight”. The thought of it makes me giggle, despite my grief, because it was just a very silly one. We had decided it was time to age up the Grinch Triplets so the task of teaching them their skills could be started, but Connery was worried that he living with me it would be a violation to the rules of the challenge. I told him that I was going to quit the challenge and he told me that I wasn’t. We argued and finally I was able to convince him that he could help me with the triplet’s skills and the matter of my challenge was just dropped.
Kole Starr as a Tot: http://www.thesims3.com/assetDetail.html?assetId=3572891
Kenyon Starr as a tot: http://www.thesims3.com/assetDetail.html?assetId=3572892
Kemper Starr as a tot: http://www.thesims3.com/assetDetail.html?assetId=3572893
I had some really cute pictures of Connery helping the boys with his skills, but little Kenyon was working a project for school (as a child) and accidently deleted half of my pictures and for some reason we were not able to retrieve them.
A few days later it was time for Levi to age into a teen. He opted not to have a big party but did go to the beach to have a bonfire with some of his class mates. Elvira and Ash were kind enough to chaperone since he didn’t want his mom to cramp his style. Sometimes kids say the darndest things.
This is what my baby boy looked like when he came back from the bonfire the next day. He is such a lovely, kind, quite teenage and I am blessed that he became part of the Starr family.
Levi Starr as a Teen: http://www.thesims3.com/assetDetail.html?assetId=3573131
The Grinch triplets learned their skills quickly, and why shouldn’t they have with three teens, and two adults in the house to keep them at it? And what seemed liked days after they aged into tot’s it was time to age them into children.
Kole Starr Child: http://www.thesims3.com/assetDetail.html?assetId=3573132
Kemper Starr Child: http://www.thesims3.com/assetDetail.html?assetId=3573135
Kenyon Starr Child: http://www.thesims3.com/assetDetail.html?assetId=3573133
Days after the triplets started school Connery surprised me with a trip to France. He told me that he wanted to see where I grew up. He wanted to know everything about me before our time together was up.
I think I was denial because every time he brought up his illness or the fact that he was going to die I would ignore it and pretend that he hadn’t said anything.
We stayed at my childhood home and spent a lot of time at the nectar and just being together, being adults. It was the most amazing trip of my life.
We took long walks. During these walks we held hands, kissed, hugged and talked. We talked about our dreams, we talked about my kids and how much he loved kids, and we talked about our pasts.
I knew that Connery had been married right out of high school, but I never knew the whole story. He told me that he and his wife Susan were high school sweethearts, but since she was small she had a poor constitution. She was always sick and after a while Connery felt more like her protector and care giver then her boyfriend, but he also loved her and stayed by her side. After they graduated it was expected that they got married and so they had a small ceremony at the court house with just family. Soon after they were married Susan became bed ridden. The doctors really didn’t understand what was wrong with her, but six months after they were married she passed peacefully in her sleep. His story made me love him more and I felt sorry that he should have to endure so much at such a young age.
Connery knows me so well and booked us an adventure to go on. We had the best time. I loved exploring and wondering if danger was around the corner.
Now tell me, does this look like a man who is sick?
Our last day in France he asked me the most unexpected question and of course I said yes, I was on cloud nine and we made a plan to be wed on Christmas Eve. France holds so many wonderful memories for me. It is the place where I was molded into the woman I am today and it is where my biggest dream came true, but it is also the place where I got caught up with happiness and wouldn’t let reality set in.
When we got back we quickly began planning, Christmas Eve was just around the corner and we feared that people wouldn’t be able to rearrange their schedules to attend. We decided on a small, well relatively small, wedding. We invited my kids, including my son Derrick who lives in Sunset Valley, Violet Newbie, and my parents and since Connery didn’t have any family left and Joe and Asher were unable to make it he invited his friend Christy Quinn to attend.
As a teen Christy took care of Connery’s wife before she passed. While he went to work Christy would come over and take Susan her meals, read to her, talk to her and help her with her medication. After Susan’s death he and Christy kept in contact and he really wanted her to attend. He told me it could be the last time he got to see her. I quickly disregarded what he said and we wrote her an invitation.
Two days before the wedding Elvira approached me and asked if she and Ash could age into young adults. I have to admit I wasn’t ready for my little, well not so little, Vampire twins to leave the nest. She proceeded to explain that she and Lars Newbie have been talking, texting, and emailing and Lars has asked her to go steady. Of course she told Lars yes, but now that he is a young adult he has told her he is moving to Twinbrook, he is and Laytin are arriving when Vi comes for the wedding, and he wants Elvira to move in with them.
While she was trying to convince me Ash joined her. He told me that he had a huge crush on Plum Tree and he needed to age up so that he could profess his love for her before she decided to marry her boyfriend Cooper Cupid.
How does a mother refuse the argument of her children’s happiness? I finally agreed but made them promise that they couldn’t move out of the house until after the wedding. They agreed happily and they didn’t waste any time nor did they want a party and they aged up.
Ash Starr as a YA: http://www.thesims3.com/assetDetail.html?assetId=3702426
Elvira Starr as a YA: http://www.thesims3.com/assetDetail.html?assetId=3702424
Finally the big day had arrived and I was both nervous and excited.
Because it was Christmas Eve I decided to keep my festive hair color and we went with red and green color scheme.
My maid of honor and best friend Violet Newbie was the first one to arrive. She looked stunning and I was so glad that she could be here with me on this day. Her boys Lars and Laytin were with her, but the two of them as well as Elvira and Ash had to stay in the house during the ceremony because now that they are young adult vampires the sun hurts them.
As the other guests arrived I took some time to talk to Pastor Pratt. He reminded me that life is short and that we as sims need to take life as it comes and treasure the small things.
Before the ceremony started Connery introduced me to his dear friend Christy Quinn. We talked for a while and I found out that she is another challenge mom in Sunset Valley and she and Vi have already become great friends. We hit it off and I feel that she is going to be another treasured friend.
The ceremony was beautiful. We professed our love for one another and finally we were Mr. and Mrs. Bright. I took Starr Bright as my last name.
Then it was time to party and share this special time with our friends and family. I was so glad that Derrick was able to attend. He was going to age into a young adult when he got home and I feel like I have missed so much of his life. After our dance together he pulled me into a hug and told me that he was glad I was his mom. This brought a tear to my eye. He is such a good boy.
As the day turned to evening and the guests were eating Ash and I presented our wedding gift to Connery. Ash played beautifully as I sang Connery our song:
At Last By Etta James
At last, my love has come along
My lonely days are over
And life is like a song
Oh, yeah, at last
The skies above are blue
My heart was wrapped up in clovers
The night I looked at you
I found a dream that I could speak to
A dream that I can call my own
I found a thrill to rest my cheek to
A thrill that I have never known
Oh, yeah when you smile, you smile
Oh, and then the spell was cast
And here we are in heaven
For you are mine
The guests clapped and was in awe and I saw Connery wipe away a tear. This day couldn’t get any better.
After we ate we opened the gifts and many of my children couldn’t make it they all pooled their money and has these made for me:
The note attached was written by my eldest Harmony and she apologized that Derrick wasn’t included. They just couldn’t work it out for him to come to the professional photo shoot.
I did miss that my non-challenge child was missing from this wonderful gift, but I understood.
As the evening wound down we decided to gather around the Christmas tree and sing a Christmas carol, but that was disrupted by this guy. The Grim Reaper showed up to remind Connery of their deal.
I was mortified…I had no knowledge of a deal Connery had made with death. After all the guests left and we were settling down for the night I made my new husband tell me what he had done.
He explained that Grim had already come for him, but he desperately needed to tell me how he felt and if I felt the same way to have just a little time with me. Grim took pity on him, and agreed, but with a condition of his own. He made Connery promise to make me promise that I would not give him a death flower nor would I use ambrosia to bring him back. How could he make such a deal? I was very confused that night when I fell asleep, but even after seeing Death at our doorstep and hearing the deal that was made I was still in denial about Connery’s condition and agreed upon the terms.
The day after the wedding my vamp twins followed their hearts. Ash had called Plum Tree the day of the wedding and told her that he was in love with her and had been since he was a little boy. She didn’t have much to say, and I could tell it hurt my boy even if he wouldn’t admit it. Having the evil and mean spirited traits makes for a tough skinned Sim.
What he didn’t know is that the next day Plum broke up with Cooper and she rushed over to the house. She confessed her love for Ash, despite their age difference. That evening Ash, Elvira, Plum, Lars and Laytin moved into a house down the road from us. I missed them as soon as they left.
It didn’t take long for our household to go back into routine. The kids had didn’t have school for the holiday break so it was a bit more chaotic. The week between Christmas and New Years went quickly.
Levi told me he was thinking of becoming a chef when he was ready to leave the house, but he hadn’t made up his mind for sure yet. I love spending time with my children. I gave him an encouraging hug and told him I would support him with whatever he decides to do.
Before I knew it, it was New Years Eve. We decided to have a small party and invited Christy, Vi and Derrick over. It was their last night in Twinbrook and thought it would be nice to spend it with them.
The party was wonderful. Good food, good friends and children have a grand time. Kenyon even ran out, before bed, in his underwear to dance to his favorite song. I couldn’t help but let him do it. I try not to have any favorite children, but Kenyon does hold a special place in my heart. Perhaps it is because he has the insane trait, I don’t know, but he makes me laugh on a daily basis. Even today with my heart broken he can make me chuckle.
After everyone left for the night Connery and I decided to have some time together and dancing was one of my favorite past time. We only got through one song when he excused himself and said he was tired and needed to go lie down.
He stroked my cheek, whispered in my ear that he loved me and that he would always love me, kissed me good night and headed up to bed. I wish I had known what those moments were. I think I would do something different, but I still have no idea what.
I was feeling antsy and far from tired so I decided that perhaps a job down the block would help me get sleepy. When I came back from my jog my whole world flipped upside down!!
The sight I walked into was devastating. My son, my baby, Kemper, was standing over Connery’s body. Connery had collapsed on the floor and he wasn’t moving.
“Mama, I found him like this.”
Tears were filling Kemper’s eyes. The sight traumatized me on two levels. 1) How was it that my baby had to experience death at such a young age and like this?
2) How was it that the love of my life was laying so still on the floor?
When I looked away from Kemper and Connery I saw The Grim Reaper begin to appear. I couldn’t believe it. All of my denial began to well up inside me and I lost it. I remembered what I agreed to and I couldn’t bear that I had made that promise. I have never cried so hard in my whole life, not even when Harmony went missing.
Grim didn’t hang around long and my family was just left in despair.
The funeral was small and intimate, just a gathering of the people who knew and loved Connery. The hugs and the I’m sorry’s were getting overwhelming and I had to get away. I found myself in the laundry room mourning my loss. However, Violet Newbie knows me very well and found me and encouraged me to come out and allow those who loved Connery to talk about him and remember him.
My dad was there to give me comfort. Mom wasn’t able to make it. Hearing about Connery’s death troubled her to the point of sickness and she was at home in bed.
Kenyon, my little insane boy, was all but insane on that day. He hugged me and when I couldn’t help but express my anger about the death taking Connery he told me that was in Sim heaven and that he was looking down on us, still taking care of use.
I swear children know how to pull on a person’s heartstrings without trying.
It has been two days since Connery’s funeral and I find myself, for the first time since before I got married, sitting in front of my computer pouring my heart to my fellow challenge mom’s and readers of my blog.
I had intended to log on tell you my new and then to announce I was going to quit the challenge, but it appears that my husband had other plans.
When I logged in there was a flashing icon that said: Ashby, read me: I clicked in and I find a letter from Connery. It said:
I know you better then you know yourself and I know you are thinking of ending your challenge, but I think that would be a big mistake. Part of the reason I fell in love with you is because how you are changing the world with your unique and inspiring children. You need to keep that up.
Do this knowing that I approve and even though I can’t physically be with you I am still with you. I am there whispering in your ear every day encouraging you to find the next dad or spending more time with your kids.
Ash, you are the strongest person I know and I know you are going to make it through it.
Please remember I love you and even though we only had a couple of weeks together it was the best time of my life. I am glad I was able to have that time.
I have another surprise for you. I recruited Violet Newbie and we made you a video that I hopes reminds you of why you do the challenge. Please log on to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plqFb2Aiwy4.
Love always and forever you husband
***readers I couldn’t figure how to upload the video to Livejournal please go to the above link and view the video Connery made for Ashby***
After watching this video I, Ashby Starr Bright, have made a solemn vow to Connery that I will continue my challenge.
About an hour before I started writing this update I got a call from Christy Quinn telling me that she, myself and Vi are going on a trip in two weeks. It is something that she and Connery had been planning for me. He knew that I would need some time away and who better to go with then two gals who could make me feel better.
I am looking forward to sometime way. Elvira and Ash have agreed to take care of the Grinch triplets and Levi can “take care” of himself.
Well until next time reader: Ashby.
Stay tuned for next time:
How will Ashby, Christy and Vi’s trip to Barnacle Bay go?
Who will be the next daddy in Ashby’s challenge?
How will she feel continuing her challenge after being married and loosing that love?
****Thank you so much for reading my blog. A lot of time and effort goes into it and I am just glad I can share it with all of you. I really do appreciate you all!! I would love to hear what you think of Ashby’s life. ****